I know a lot of people.
I have a handful of friends.
I don't have any friends where I currently work but I do have a few colleagues who I get tea with. However none of us live near the office so the oppertunities to socialise outside work (and create a friendship) is almost impossible. Also I'm of an age where everyone else has well developed lives involving kids. Its hard to fit around that when you don't have kids yourself.
I've made a couple of new friends recently. Both sets from online but different directions. Luckily I was bought into one of the groups by a super-social person so that helped me avoid the usual 'trying to integrate with a new group of people' as I was kind of just dragged along!
Online friends can still be friends however I do think its important to have friends you meet IRL/face2face. That kind of social interaction is good for the soul.
To make new friends try this.
1) Find a local tweetup group (if you are on twitter). I moved to a new city and found a group nearby. This gave me an instant group - regardless of them actually all just being '
entrepreneurs ' trying to flog their businesses to each other. When it was obvious I wasn't self employed and had no need to pay someone to be a 'social media strategy manager', they soon left me alone. I still keep in contact with two of them but they turned out to be neighbours so it became less about the tweeting!
2) Think about your hobbies/what you enjoy doing. I like comedy so attend a lot of it. You get to see the same people again and again. While you are queuing to get in you can start chatting to people. And you build a friendship from there. Not everyone wants a new friend though so that can be hard. I tried attending a group once (not comedy related) and the day I turned up they decided to give everyone a memberhsip number based on when they first turned up. A long time was spent deciding who would be the top 5 and in which order. Much later in the evening I think they got round to me. Well I say that, I was told very early on I was 'last' (which is factually correct) but I didn't feel this was a group I wanted to be part of OR that wanted me to be a part of them.
3) Build a routine. Having this familiarity means that not only will you see the same people at the same time, other people will see you. When you add this to item 2 you will find that the oppertunity for new friendships can appear.
4) DON'T, and I repeat DON'T, join a group on facebook to then just talk only about your online money making or latest MLM scheme (not aimed at
@Jon but I'm admin on a group and member of a few groups and it amazes me how people think this is a great way to join a facebook group.
5) Be social. Do things you can talk about. Read a book, watch a film, partake in life. Have a conversation not about computers (regardless of whether this is what you spend most of your time on). There are people who have no interest in computers or mobile phones or facebook or twitter. I'm as suprised by you on this fact but they will have little interest on a funny person you follow on twitter. They will have an interest in a funny thing that actually happened to you.
6) Smile. I always forget to. So I try to smile more. It will make you look more approachable or LESS approachable
but don't worry about it. Smiling suggests you are happy.
7) Talk politely to people you don't know. If someone is reading a book you have read, tell them its excellent (don't tell them it is shit if it is shit). As people for recommendations (in the appropriate situation) - like in a record shop or book shop.
8) Don't live in headphones 24/7
9) Shower at least once a day
10) find a local pub that is there for socialising and not for just getting shitfaced.
As someone has pointed out you don't have the same social situations as children, nor the openness to be friends with anyone (that people had as a child). As an adult it is harder because we come with so much baggage that we can burden ourselves to the point we think we wont ever have new friends (or don't deserve new friends). That is never true. Friendship is there for everyone but does take a bit more effort than when we were 6 years old.
