Making Friends as an adult is kind of tough!

Jon

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It's pretty tough, isn't it!

Unless you are still hanging out with people you knew from school or college or whatever its basically works friends or nothing.. This has become very clear to me now I'm self-employed which is why I'm desperate to jump into some sporting hobbies that are more 'team sports' as otherwise you just don't meet any other others (10x more so when you work for yourself!)

Do people on here still have friends from school as an adult? I don't even live in Norwich anymore so don't know anywhere from school or college from there and everyone I was friends with at Uni here in Leeds (back in 2002-2003ish) has moved all over the place so the only way I'm going to make new friends now I think is through hobbies and groups!!

Shows how easy it is when you are younger and this sort of stuff is in a plate for you!
 

homie

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Cycling is quite a good sport for meeting people. If it is a leisurely group then people will chat to each other along the ride and there is usually the obligatory tea and cake stop half way through too. Most clubs will have groups going out at different levels so not everyone is a wannabe Bradly Wiggins. Some established and well managed clubs will have social events outside of cycling too.

Never been a member of a golf club but I imagine that is a good way to meet new people too.
 

geebobuk

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When you move away from home I think it makes things tougher, thankfully I have never been through this . When I left my office job 10 years ago I found it difficult to adjust to working for myself but I gradually got used to it & made friends with my customers. I am lucky that I also still see at least a couple of my old school friends on a weekly basis too.

I consider myself to be the sociable type so maybe I have an advantage that way as well??
 
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Sherliarty

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Yep it isn't easy, you have to have a reason to connect ie parents at same school, a book group or a political party. Also with adult friend making, patience is key, going too fast scares people. And keep turning up at whatever hobby you take up, becoming a familiar face helps! I am friendly with a few of my neighbours but it took many years of friendly hellos before it moved to drinks and nights out! I am still friends with people from school but it requires a lot of effort all round, in fact friendships require one or both to put the effort in otherwise it's so easy to lose touch as adults.
 
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The Reverend

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My comment from this thread is still true.

:)
 

Aurelian8

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Jon.
I totally agree. Finding friends as an adult can be tough. Myself and my partner have both relocated, her from Glasgow to Manchester 10 years ago, myself Liverpool to Manchester 2 years ago. It takes time, some effort, and frankly, you have to be willing to take a chance. As people have mentioned, clubs are the key. I know you are Leeds area, so if you have any interest in Brazilian jujitsu, there is a Gracie Bara club in Leeds. I could not recommend them highly enough. GB have a 16 week rotating beginner program, which runs at every club worldwide. All GB clubs run to strict standards of behaviour and hygiene, so you can walk in and know you will be made welcome, the place will be spotless, and nobody is going to murder you.

If not, drop me a line and I will take you for a pint next time I'm in Leeds (or pontefract)
 
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Karonher

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I met my close friends early on, one when I was 15, one when I was 20 and the other at 22. I do have other good friends from when I was 20. I also have some newer ones that I met in my mid 20s when I got involved in politics.

If you are interested in politics that would be a good way to meet people - the only issue is that your political views may be the only thing you have in common.
 

Bugboybill

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If you like walking that can be a great way to meet people. My wife and I have walked on the North York Moors, Yorkshire Dales etc. for about 30 years, but we joined a group on Meetup over 3 years ago, and it has been great. We've made loads of good friends and had great days out, weekends and even foreign holidays. Even if you don't like walking there are hundreds of groups on Meetup, or you can start your own.
 
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nicki

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Not exactly a sport, but I play Pokemon Go as a way of making friends. Lots of people from various backgrounds as well as ages. Due to my anxiety most of my chatting to them is through Telegram app or the Facebook groups, but if someone speaks to me when we're out playing then I'm fine. I'm just awful at striking up conversations lol
 
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Peaches

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Did you ever get started with hobbies as above Jon?

I've never been somebody with a million and one friends - I prefer a handful of close friends, and I make a real effort with them. Loads is just.....exhausting!! I've had a rough few years and it's thinned out even those friends somewhat (no falls outs, but I guess I went through a period, due to circumstances, where our relationships required more input from them than me to survive and it didn't happen). However I'm incredibly lucky because it also highlighted a couple of friends who are just exceptionally amazing people. I don't really live near to any of these people, which really sucks, but with such easy phone and internet access these days, it's really very easy to communicate. It's not the same of course but we just set aside time in our calendars in advance to meet up, and make the most of that.

I do find hobbies are the easiest way to meet others. Of my close friends, they're almost all people I know through hobbies (in fact, my closest friend I knew from a forum about said hobby, we ended up in the same town for a time, met up and it went from there). We don't all have the same involvement anymore but now we know one another that doesn't matter. It was a commonality to bring us together in the first place :)
 

Jon

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Going to sporting events can be quite a good way to meet new friends.

Especially if you have a season ticket and tend to sit in the same seat each week. We've made all sorts of friends who sit around us at Leeds Rhinos home games. People just chat to you and you sort of have a common interest straight off the bat so there is always something to talk about. Before you know it, by the end of the season you are sharing a thermos of hot tea between you all lol
 

Peaches

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I'm not looking for more - I haven't the energy to keep up with the current lol! Just wondered how you were getting on :D
 
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