What has p*ssed you off today?

DadsDoItRight

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Sorry for the moan. I'm am struggling and having it rough. I'm here for all my friends and family but seem to be forgotten when I need help. To be honest I haven't even had a chance to cry or have a moment to grieve for mum.
Have a moan. Nothing to say sorry for. It seems like you do need it. I am sure there is plenty of people here myself included always willing to lend a ear for you to bend.
 

mum2one

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Can I add my mother ....... she fell aslleo started grunti g in her sleep..... that bad I had to turn the tv up x
 

Christine2

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My other half. I've cooked cleaned done shit loads, made massive pan of cawl for extended family. I'm going through a hard time after losing my mum 2 days before Christmas. Get asked why I'm tired and not to happy ATM. When I say I work do things and I'm missing my mum, get the reply of well if your not happy do something about it. Fucking cheers for the sympathy.
All the times I was strong for her, when her dad passed. Sick of being there for others with shoulders that can carry the weight of the world and getting no help back...
...except for you guys and girls of course.
Bless you, you need time to grieve for your mum, it will get easier, being strong for every one else will only weigh you down and make you so unhappy.
 

Topaz

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Last Thursday, a dead pheasant appeared in the back alley. I rang the Council who said they would come and dispose of it asap. Today, a week later, it is still there - but flatter! It stinks to high heaven, so I have just done the Councils job and picked it up, double bagged it and disposed of it. What is it we pay our taxes for again?
 

The Reverend

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Sorry for the moan. I'm am struggling and having it rough. I'm here for all my friends and family but seem to be forgotten when I need help. To be honest I haven't even had a chance to cry or have a moment to grieve for mum.

If you are struggling make sure you talk properly to someone. Do try to have a proper discussion with your partner but if that doesn't work, talk to a medical professional.

Your (mental) health should be your priority.
 

Knopfler

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My other half. I've cooked cleaned done shit loads, made massive pan of cawl for extended family. I'm going through a hard time after losing my mum 2 days before Christmas. Get asked why I'm tired and not to happy ATM. When I say I work do things and I'm missing my mum, get the reply of well if your not happy do something about it. Fucking cheers for the sympathy.
All the times I was strong for her, when her dad passed. Sick of being there for others with shoulders that can carry the weight of the world and getting no help back...
...except for you guys and girls of course.

Only just seen this but didn't want to read and run ...................................................................

Years ago I joined Cruse and even became a volunteer in their office at one point. They are still going and you can ring them on a freephone number, details below.
Unfortunately, like a lot of charities and organisations they are only available in the daytime, normal office hours:

https://www.cruse.org.uk/bereavement-services/get-help

I am sending you hugs and lots of empathy, as I know how tough it can be. This is still very fresh and raw for you, so you wil be going through the whole gamut of both physical and emotional turmoil, so little wonder you are tired and stressed.

I don't want to automatically presume that you are a male but you mentioned a female partner? Sometimes (and trying my hardest not to sound stereotypical), the 'male of the species' is looked upon as the 'strong' one, the one that does not (or will not) cry and keeps their emotions in check. The one to lean on etc.

It sounds like you are a 'giver' rather than a 'taker', so it may be hard for others to suddenly see you at the other end of the scale, and difficult for them to see or hear you struggling.

Sometimes you just have to spell it out to them that YOU would like some help, please. Also, try and suggest ways in which you would like help, if possible.

Everyone deals with death differently. A large number of people find it hard to interact with the people left behind. They may feel awkward or embarrassed about talking about it with you, or think it will hurt and upset you too much if they mention anything at all, so end up saying and doing nothing - or even crossing the street in some cases.

Most of the time a simple, sorry and/or hug is all that is needed but it is hard as everyone is different.
Some people want to be able to talk about it and vent their 'roller-coaster' feelings which can be very over-whelming - others may appreciate more practical help such as dealing with paperwork, taking the kids to school, cooking etc.
Or some may just want to be left alone to think and work things through and come to terms with the situation and their grief.
There is no 'one fix for all' in this situation unfortunately.

Do you think your partner telling you to 'do something about it' is her way of trying to give constructive advice somehow? It sounds like she does not know how to help you to deal with it maybe? especially if she is more used to depending on you.

Don't be too hard on yourself. Try to find and ask for help in the best way for YOU. If you want to cry, don't bottle it up - find a quiet room, scream into a pillow - do whatever you need to do to let it out, safely.

Stop taking so much on at the moment, let others do some of the work. If they don't like it, tough - just say you need a breather from it and you know they will understand why (that way THEY will look shit if they still pester you).

If you can't talk to your partner, close friends etc. then ring a helpline and/or post on here whenever you feel the need.
Sometimes just putting your thoughts and feelings to (electronic) paper can help.

Sorry for the LONG post. I'm not on here every single day but you can always pm and I will get back to you asap.

Take care.
 

TCA

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Last Thursday, a dead pheasant appeared in the back alley. I rang the Council who said they would come and dispose of it asap. Today, a week later, it is still there - but flatter! It stinks to high heaven, so I have just done the Councils job and picked it up, double bagged it and disposed of it. What is it we pay our taxes for again?

What you needed was a dead pheasant plucker! To cheer yourself up, say the following aloud as fast as you can and keep repeating:

"I am not a pheasant plucker, I'm a pheasant plucker's son.
I am only plucking pheasants 'till the pheasant plucker comes"
 

Topaz

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What you needed was a dead pheasant plucker! To cheer yourself up, say the following aloud as fast as you can and keep repeating:

"I am not a pheasant plucker, I'm a pheasant plucker's son.
I am only plucking pheasants 'till the pheasant plucker comes"
Lol it was that rotten, it wouldn't have taken much plucking
 

Bow382

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Just wanted to say thank you to everyone forghe kind words, support and advice. It's great to have such friendly people only a message away:)
 
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Cas

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Just wanted to say thank you to everyone forghe kind words, support and advice. It's great to have such friendly people only a message away:)
hope all the best
 

katykicker

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People tweeting me about a broken washing machine as if I can magically fix it for them, all because I worked with a washing machine company on a review.
 

Topaz

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People tweeting me about a broken washing machine as if I can magically fix it for them, all because I worked with a washing machine company on a review.

Mine broke last week - shall I tweet you ;)

Was annoying though as it was only 3 years old. When the bearings go on modern washers, you can't replace em and its cheaper to buy a new machine. So yesterday a new one arrived and I spent a happy hour watching my washing going around, because I could :)
 

Knopfler

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People tweeting me about a broken washing machine as if I can magically fix it for them, all because I worked with a washing machine company on a review.

My freezer broke last week - perhaps the 'machines' are planning a revolt! It will cost me £30 for the local council to take it away, and even if I knew someone with a van it would be pointless as vans aren't allowed in without a permit - crafty beggars. And then they wonder why fly-tipping is rife for large items, eh!
 
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Topaz

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My freezer broke last week - perhaps the 'machines' are planning a revolt! It will cost me £30 for the local council to take it away, and even if I knew someone with a van it would be pointless as vans aren't allowed in without a permit - crafty beggars. And then they wonder why fly-tipping is rife for large items, eh!

I usually buy from A.O. and they take the old appliance away for less than the council charge. It cost me £20 for them to take my old washer.
 

larlie1983

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I usually buy from A.O. and they take the old appliance away for less than the council charge. It cost me £20 for them to take my old washer.

Wow! People complain about my council being expensive. They charge £19 but will take away 6 items for that price but then we do pay one of the highest council taxes in the country :rolleyes:
 
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Svendo42

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People tweeting me about a broken washing machine as if I can magically fix it for them, all because I worked with a washing machine company on a review.

Why not write some blog posts about fixing washing machines to point them at.
 

Svendo42

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My freezer broke last week - perhaps the 'machines' are planning a revolt! It will cost me £30 for the local council to take it away, and even if I knew someone with a van it would be pointless as vans aren't allowed in without a permit - crafty beggars. And then they wonder why fly-tipping is rife for large items, eh!

We thought our fridge was on the blink as we kept getting water beneath the salad tray only to find that the drain plug had been blocked so unblocked it with a cotton bud and all good again.
 
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Topaz

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Wow! People complain about my council being expensive. They charge £19 but will take away 6 items for that price but then we do pay one of the highest council taxes in the country :rolleyes:

I rang our council to take away a king size mattress and they quoted £30. When I said no, that's too expensive, they replied, well we'll take 3 items for that. To which I replied, but I only have 1 item. Make it a tenner and we have a deal! I ended up taking a saw to it, bundled it in the boot and took it to the tip myself - bit like I did with the dead pheasant, but minus the saw :oops:

We pay 1.3K per year council tax, and we still have to do their job for them - including taking general rubbish and recycling to the tip because they didn't turn up on bin day. We have to take photo I.D. just to get into the council tip now!
 

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