My other half. I've cooked cleaned done shit loads, made massive pan of cawl for extended family. I'm going through a hard time after losing my mum 2 days before Christmas. Get asked why I'm tired and not to happy ATM. When I say I work do things and I'm missing my mum, get the reply of well if your not happy do something about it. Fucking cheers for the sympathy.
All the times I was strong for her, when her dad passed. Sick of being there for others with shoulders that can carry the weight of the world and getting no help back...
...except for you guys and girls of course.
Only just seen this but didn't want to read and run ...................................................................
Years ago I joined Cruse and even became a volunteer in their office at one point. They are still going and you can ring them on a freephone number, details below.
Unfortunately, like a lot of charities and organisations they are only available in the daytime, normal office hours:
https://www.cruse.org.uk/bereavement-services/get-help
I am sending you hugs and lots of empathy, as I know how tough it can be. This is still very fresh and raw for you, so you wil be going through the whole gamut of both physical and emotional turmoil, so little wonder you are tired and stressed.
I don't want to automatically presume that you are a male but you mentioned a female partner? Sometimes (and trying my hardest not to sound stereotypical), the 'male of the species' is looked upon as the 'strong' one, the one that does not (or will not) cry and keeps their emotions in check. The one to lean on etc.
It sounds like you are a 'giver' rather than a 'taker', so it may be hard for others to suddenly see you at the other end of the scale, and difficult for them to see or hear you struggling.
Sometimes you just have to spell it out to them that YOU would like some help, please. Also, try and suggest ways in which you would like help, if possible.
Everyone deals with death differently. A large number of people find it hard to interact with the people left behind. They may feel awkward or embarrassed about talking about it with you, or think it will hurt and upset you too much if they mention anything at all, so end up saying and doing nothing - or even crossing the street in some cases.
Most of the time a simple, sorry and/or hug is all that is needed but it is hard as everyone is different.
Some people want to be able to talk about it and vent their 'roller-coaster' feelings which can be very over-whelming - others may appreciate more practical help such as dealing with paperwork, taking the kids to school, cooking etc.
Or some may just want to be left alone to think and work things through and come to terms with the situation and their grief.
There is no 'one fix for all' in this situation unfortunately.
Do you think your partner telling you to 'do something about it' is her way of trying to give constructive advice somehow? It sounds like she does not know how to help you to deal with it maybe? especially if she is more used to depending on you.
Don't be too hard on yourself. Try to find and ask for help in the best way for YOU. If you want to cry, don't bottle it up - find a quiet room, scream into a pillow - do whatever you need to do to let it out, safely.
Stop taking so much on at the moment, let others do some of the work. If they don't like it, tough - just say you need a breather from it and you know they will understand why (that way THEY will look shit if they still pester you).
If you can't talk to your partner, close friends etc. then ring a helpline and/or post on here whenever you feel the need.
Sometimes just putting your thoughts and feelings to (electronic) paper can help.
Sorry for the LONG post. I'm not on here every single day but you can always pm and I will get back to you asap.
Take care.